Wednesday, January 31, 2007
just read some blogs, seems like some routine
i really should stop reading so much blogs
i really should stop looking at pictures
i really should just stop letting my mind go wild in thoughts
WHYYY??
why do i love to seek misery?
why do i love seeking pain?
why do i love feeling sad?
i'm afraid.
very afraid..
of myself.
if you tell me ya scared of me..
i totally understand
cuz i'm scared of myself
very.
Sometimes i really do not know what i really want?
and half the time i'm always so emo
it's like i rather cry than laugh
rather be sad than be happy
worse off i can even make myself unhappy for no reason or another
i'm a freak i know
scary, so scary.
thinking back now, i realised that i do not have many close friends
yes once i had ALOT of ppl calling me and smsing me to check if i'm alright
the word is ONCE
i rejected them all with harsh words and dao-ness
i never treasured any single one of them
i don't blame anyone if they don't really know who i am
or know how i really feel
cuz no one really knows me
and i don't even know myself
i dunno what made me type this out
i just feel sad
very sad
somehow, sometime i wish i can just cry it all out and never stop cryin till i feel better again
and if ya were to ask me what is in my thoughts
dunch ask
cuz i really dunno
all i know is i aint feeling right
not good
sad
a time just to leave me alone and wake up from my senses
ya know what i really feel like doing now?
i wanna be at east coast beach sitting by the sea on the sand listening to the sound of the waves and playing a sad melancholy tune on the piano.
thank God for music cuz i feel that's the only way i can REALLY express myself.
if only someone would bring me to ecp and get me a flower to brighten my night, now.
wake up mich, its impossible.
=/
;
12:30:00 AM
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